The Forgotten Mourners: Why Blessings for Barrett Exists

The Forgotten Mourners: Why Blessings for Barrett Exists

When a child dies, the world rightly turns its attention to the parents. Casseroles arrive. Cards fill the mailbox. Friends check in, again and again, on mom and dad.

But there is often another child in that house, one who is also grieving, also confused, also aching for the sibling who is suddenly gone. That child rarely gets a card. Few people ask how they're doing. They are, in every sense of the phrase, the forgotten mourners.

Blessings for Barrett exists to make sure that stops.

Where It Started

Our founders, Katy and Tyler Bone, know this experience firsthand. Their son Barrett was born on June 14, 2019. What first looked like respiratory distress quickly became a critical medical emergency. Barrett was placed on ECMO at St. Louis Children's Hospital, and for 28 days his medical team fought to find answers. He died on July 12, 2019, later diagnosed with Alveolar Capillary Dysplasia, a rare and often fatal lung disorder.

In the aftermath, Katy and Tyler watched their other children grieve a brother in a world that wasn't quite sure what to do with a grieving sibling. That gap, between how much support exists for parents and how little exists for siblings, became the reason Blessings for Barrett was founded in 2023.

Barrett's 28 days changed the direction of his family's life. They also became the reason thousands of other siblings across the country now have somewhere to turn.

What Makes Our Support Different

Sibling grief is not the same as parental grief, and it shouldn't be treated that way. A grieving sibling is often navigating their loss while also watching their parents struggle, sometimes without the language or the permission to name what they're feeling themselves. That's the gap we were built to fill, and it's why our approach to support is intentional rather than generic.

**Clinically informed, not just well meaning.** Katy holds two master's degrees in counseling, and that training shapes nearly every resource we create. Our comfort boxes, grief journals, and activity materials aren't assembled from good intentions alone. They're built with an understanding of how children actually process loss at different ages and stages.

**Ongoing, not one time.** A single box of comfort items can help in the moment, but grief doesn't end after a week. That's why our support continues through quarterly grief projects, keeping families connected to us long after the initial loss.

**Rooted in lived experience.** We don't just study sibling grief. We've lived it. That combination of professional training and personal understanding is what allows us to sit with families in a way that feels both credible and deeply human.

**Designed to include hope alongside grief.** We never want a grieving child to feel like they need to be fixed, or that moving forward means forgetting. Our resources make room for children to hold both sorrow and joy, and to keep their sibling's memory present in their lives rather than something to move past.

What We've Built

In just a few years, that approach has reached families far beyond what we imagined when we started.

- Over 500 bereaved siblings supported through comfort boxes, grief projects, and ongoing care

- Families reached in 45 U.S. states and 4 countries

- Resources used by families, schools, counselors, and hospitals nationwide

- Three published resources for grieving children: *Buzzy the Bee*, a companion grief journal, and an activity book

- Partnerships, including with Amazon, that have expanded our reach and accessibility

- Community events, speaking engagements, and educational partnerships with hospitals, hospice organizations, and schools

## Why This Work Matters Now

Every day, a sibling somewhere is grieving quietly, often overlooked by well meaning adults who simply don't know what to say to a child in that position. Schools don't always have a protocol. Hospitals and hospices are stretched thin. Well intentioned counselors may not have training specific to sibling loss.

That's where we come in, and it's also where we want to grow. We're looking to deepen our partnerships with hospitals, hospice organizations, schools, and counselors who encounter grieving siblings and want a resource they can trust and hand to a family with confidence. We're building tools and materials so that no professional has to guess how to support a grieving child, and no sibling has to wonder if anyone remembers they're hurting too.

Barrett's life was 28 days long. What it built continues to reach families we will never stop trying to find.

If you work with grieving families, or know an organization that does, we'd love to talk about how we can support the siblings in your care. Learn more at [blessingsforbarrett.com](https://blessingsforbarrett.com).

-Katy